I am writing a flash fiction story for a scholarship application, and I was wondering whether this opening statement is good: Aaliyah"s frost-colored eyes shot like burning lasers into the hands of her leather banded watch. She sat hyperfocused until her equally pale pink headscarf swept down into her face.
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Aaliyah's eyes focused intently on the hands of her leather banded watch, willing them to move. (Why does she want them to move?).
-equally pale pink- thus far it is the first reference to pale pink so it is not equal to anything pink or pale.
Introduce her eye color in a more likely manner, and maybe have something else distract her, other than her scarf, which may distract her, but not the reader
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