Run the network tests from within the 360 menus - looking especially at the result for network address translation (NAT). If this is either limited or fail, you will need to change your router for one which is compatible with xbox live. Try xbox.com to work out which routers are recommended.
As far as your router kicking him when you connected your pc, then you must have altered the access permissions of the router maybe by accident.
If all else fails, turn off the pc, router, modem and 360. Find the reset button on your router and press/hold this for at least five seconds. Turn on the modem, then the router. Let that settle for a minute, then connect and setup 360 and laptop.
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In order to play online via XBOX Live, you'll need to purchase a time card (1month, 3months, 12months, etc) to play online. So yes you'll need an xbox live card if your looking to play any games online.
You need a excellent signal to your Xbox. Xbox requires a constant connection. My son as an Xbox and we had to run a wire connection to the Xbox no problems after that. Or you need to move your wireless router to the same room as your xbox to get a stronger connection.
In theory you should be able to "share" your internet connection. I use a Linksys WRT54GS wireless router and I have a Linksys Game adapter on my son's 360. He has not complained about lag or slow server times unless other intensive bandwidth is being used.
Well, it's very possible if you are using a wireless router that your connection may not be strong enough. XBOX Live and most online gaming requires a steady. strong, high bandwith connection. A weak singnal, OR someone else using up the bandwith (i.e. someone downloading music on another computer connected to your router) can cause the problem.
If you're using a wireless connection, try moving the router and wireless game adapter closer to each other.
If you're using a hardwire connection from one of the routers outgong ports then make sure other's aren't on the internet (Or at least aren't using alot of bandwith) while XBOX Live is being used.
Please remember also that if you have a wireless network and you haven't implimented wireless secruity (i.e. WEP or WPA encryption) then your network is "Open" and anyone within range can connect and use up your bandwith,