There is always a chance that you "bricked" the unit with the update. IT happens. When you get to the cross hairs you are supposed to hold your finger in the middle till it asks for the next step. IF it wont go to this, then can you retry the whole process over again. If not you have bricked it and it has to be sent in for reflash
Ground - negative
12v positive - switchable positive (for example, on when ignition is on, usually connected to accessory side on ignition switch)
auto ant - connected to your electric antenna or to turn on external amplifier.
Memory - connected to always on positive (to keep all your stereo presets )