Alarm wont disarm no remote

To disarm the alarm, you press the unlock button on the remote.

Perhaps you could click Edit and make the second part make sense. Why is your car 'having lunch', and 'you don't die I'll codes are clear'??

..

If you don't have the remote then its pretty much useless. I have seen at Pep Boys where they sell replacements for the factory/dealer installed alarms. Or just remove the alarm completely and reconnect everything the way it was.
Without knowing what brand alarm it is a person cannot honestly answer how to disarm it as they all work differently.
If you know a brand and model you may be able to find downloadable instruction on the manufactures web site.

was it a professional or shade tree install? the following is off vipers website:
disarming without a remote control
This feature allows you to disarm the security system without the
Remote Control should it be lost, damaged, or disabled. In order to
disarm the system without a remote remote control, you must have
the vehicle’s ignition key and know where the Valet button is
located. Be sure to check with the installer for the location and the
number of presses of the Valet button required to disarm the system.
To disarm the security system,
turn the ignition to the ON position.
Press the Valet button the
preset number of times (one to
five times) within 15 seconds. After five seconds the system will
disarm. If the system does not disarm, you may have waited too long;
turn the ignition off and on and try again.
if that doesn't work try this other

valet mode
You can prevent your security system from automatically arming
and triggering by using Valet Mode. This is very useful when
washing the vehicle or having it serviced. In Valet Mode, the
security system will not arm, even with the Remote Control, but
all convenience functions (door locks, trunk release, etc.) will
continue to work normally.
To enter or exit Valet Mode:
1. Turn the ignition on.
2. Turn the ignition off.
3. Press and release the Valet
button within 10 seconds.
The status LED will light solidly if you are entering Valet Mode,
and it will go out if you are exiting Valet Mode.

find the little black alarm box remove the harness from it and it is disconnected and no harm to the rest of the car

Here is excerpt from the 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee Service Manual ... i know you posted under 1997 JGC but this information may be helpful ... by "reset alarm" i believe you meant disarming the alarm?

“Arming
Passive arming of the Vehicle Theft Security System (VTSS) occurs when the vehicle is exited with the key removed from the ignition switch, the headlamps are turned off, and the doors are locked using power lock switch. The power lock switch will not function if the key is in the ignition switch or the headlamps are on with the driver’s door open. The VTSS will not arm if either front door or the liftgate are locked using the key in the lock cylinder.
Active arming of the VTSS occurs when the Remote Keyless Entry (RKE) transmitter is used to lock the vehicle, even if the doors and/or the liftgate are open when the RKE transmitter Lock button is depressed. However, the VTSS arming will not be complete until all the doors and the liftgate are closed.
Following successful passive or active VTSS arming, the VTSS set lamp on the top of the instrument panel will flash rapidly for about 15 seconds after the illuminated entry system times out. This indicates that the VTSS arming is in progress. If the light stays on steadily during the arming, it indicates that the hood switch is closed (the hood is open). The VTSS will still arm if the hood is open, but the engine compartment will not be protected. Once the 15 second arming function is complete, the set lamp will flash at a slower rate to indicate that the VTSS is armed. Disarming Passive disarming of the Vehicle Theft Security Sytem (VTSS) occurs when the vehicle is unlocked using the key to unlock either front door or the liftgate. Active disarming of the VTSS occurs when the vehicle is unlocked by depressing the Unlock button of the Remote Keyless Entry (RKE) transmitter. Once the alarm has been activated (horn sounding, exterior lights flashing, and the the engine no-run feature), either disarming method will also deactivate the alarm. Depressing the Panic button on the RKE transmitter will also disarm the VTSS, but the horm will sound and teh exterior lamps will flash for about three minutes as a part of the Panic feature function. ..." And as an additional note, if you have the courtesy interior lights set at 30 seconds like i do, you have to wait until lights go out (with alarm still sounding) before you can disarm the alarm via passive disarm method... what a pain when you don't have the actual RKE handy... Good Luck!

ok are you ready, first turn the ign on but do not turn the key to the start position, the alarm should sound, as soon as the alarm stops sounding, count 10 seconds then start the vehicle,this will disable the alarm unless you set it with the remote, if that doesent disable it repeat above again it has to be 10 second count after alarm stops..

factory alarms have fuses too. try looking in the fuse box... remove the fuse and it'll disable the alarm...

If you hook up the jumper cables can you disable the alarm with the remote?

try turning the key on then taking the +side off then turn key off and reconect+

you may need to call a dealership and ask them about it they are most familiar with their systems and can tell you how to shut it off and possibly tell you how to keep it disarmd