Not all routers will pass all types of VPN successfully. My last D-Link router would pass a PPTP VPN with no problem, but completely choked on any attempt to pass an IPSEC VPN.
Since you never specified what model router you have, it's difficult to diagnose your problem beyond that observation.
Try a different brand or model of router and see if you get better results. Sad to say, I have found that the low-end routers work fine with completely vanilla networks, but they are very prone to annoying surprises like this when you try anything beyond what the average home user would try.
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