What connectors do you have at each end, ie output and input?
Is it S-Video at each end or are you converting, as I suspect, composite video out, yellow RCA plug, to S-Video in on monitor?
Converting composite to S-Video via a passive cable doesn't yield good results, as its simply feeding the composite to the two S-Video signal-components, Chroma and Luminance.
As the video output of a VCR has limited bandwidth, the signal out will never be perfectly clear, but if you can get hold of an active 'powered' booster / sharpener / crispener unit, it will help to clean up and amplify the signal, so improving clarity.
Another point:
A lot of generic Composite<>S-Video cables simply bridge or short out the C 'chroma' & Y 'luminance' pins.
A hack to improve the timing signals is to solder a 470pF ceramic capacitor across C and Y as shown in schematic.
This circuit show S-video input, but may work as out.
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