Most likely you have a slow connection. Try getting faster internet maybe? Not much I can help with there.
If you are still having problems updating, google downloading updates to console aspx, you can download an update to a cd rom and download it that way.
Hope this helps.
SOURCE: cant download update for xbox live
Have you set up your connection via wireless or earthnet then when you are conected to the Internet it should let you download the update also if you don't no where the xbox settings are go to the slide or blade where you play your games then at the end you shoud find the system settings or if you have the standerd update there will be a blade to the far right which will display the settings you need you would need to go on network settings the configarate network also there might be a password for your WEP or the other security type . Just saying the password might not be what you think mine was a code to let me in to router that was some random numbers with 2 letters
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