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I am in turmoil about certain things i had to do growing up ,and certain things that have effected my present life. as it were two seperate lives or more. when i was growing up very young ,we lived in a mainly jewish neighborhood and i and other jews were always assaulted for being jews. as a teenager we moved back to phila. and an all catholic neighborhood where i had to do many things that in hind sight may not have been right,accoeding to tora laws. after a while we ,and i became known as crazy cohens. at one point my mother faced me with people fear you and that is not respect. my answer w,and llp ssas we live in a place where we are hated in this place .at this time being feared is respect,when people get to know us /me respect will grow, the problem came that i grew a chip on my shoulder and anyone that was the underdog i stood up for because i was taught that if you do nothing it is the same sin as the perpetrator. as i got older ,and especially in my business i always did right by my customers, as friends. which brings me to present day, now i,m 69 years old and for the past few years/jobs i have still done more than expected, and thanked for ,at the loss of 29,8, 64.5 123, and 6,000. a total of approx. 223,000. dollars. to a point where i have become so depressed ,and hurt that i cannot go regularly to sabbath and do not feel like performing berchat kolhanim blessing, because one of the congregation has stuck me for 29,000.over 71,000. for less than 35,000. and even when he invited me into his house to settle up ,his wife debased me and totaly disrespected me/ . i still serve g-d by helping all i can help no matter how broke ,hurting, i may be . i have discussed this w/ rabi ,and i have said i have done many things i,m always proud of ,but i also am never ashamed. i did what ever was nessecary when it was nessecary. some people think i do what i do to buy brownie points w/ the creator its not what ever happens to me when i die is up to g-d. i come from a very large family 6 bros. 2 sisters, 6 children 2 step children including my bros. children 48 in all 52 grand children, 2 of my own great grand children 19 greatgrand children in all and 2 more on the way this spring. the lord has been good to me. that is why i feel so bad that friends would cheat me. now i,m facing the end soon and have many projects to forfill that would created tens of thousands jobs, clean water for the entire world, crops and land for millions, and i feel horrible. i am the only one in my family that being the priest is my honor. the rest of my blessing is my children,grand children, great grandchildren. how can i deal with theese people that cheat me. the law is not to covet , not to steal, not to lie, the law cannot have two meanings or two seperate courses,we cannot adjust the law to suit our personal selves. if this is true, then why have i spent 60 of my years helping.

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Forgive and forgive GOD will bless you 10x more he's blessed you with children,grand children, great grandchildren this is your calling got to be strong for the Devil is trying to destroy what you love and care for so rise above and be greater,i remember what GOD told me never to old or to young to fall rock bottom its how you get back up remember GOD chose YOU to serve him not others Almighty GOD is with you right now AMEN

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