Ok so when i log on to ichat it says connecting and then non of my buddies come up and it connects again and again and then it says you have logged on to many time please try again in a few minutes can someone please help me !
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The only thing that I can think of is that you also have something else open that is using the camera. Does the camera show up in Photo Booth or ichat? Do you have ichat open at the same time as Skype. Make sure you close ichat, photobooth, and Skype (and anything else that uses a camera) and then re-open only Skype.
If you have something else open that uses the camera when you open Skype, Skype will be unable to use the camera.
The camera will turn on automatically when necessary. For example, in iChat, it will turn on automatically when you click the video camera icon next to someone's name in your buddy list, it will turn on automatically.
Likewise in Skype, simply click the video camera icon next to someone's name in your buddy list and it will initiate a video chat.
If you are using VMware Fusion at the same time that you get the problem then it is Fusion. Check by shutting down Fusion then trying the iChat. If it works fine then it's definitely Fusion that is interrupting it.
With internet sharing off as you describe the next thing is to make sure that it is also not sharing the iSight itself. When fusion is running but not windows itself, check the configuration of your windows bootable in Fusion. (You'll have to excuss me a bit as I havn't used Fusion for a bit since switching over to Parallels) Check to see if the iSight is listed among the USB devices.
If it's not there load up windows and check which devices are connected there from the main Fusion Menu or the little icons on the Fusion Status bar. If it's not, double check by right clicking on MyComputer and choosing properties then go to Device Manager and then looking in there for any USB camera devices. If it is, right click and disable it.