Battery dead, doors won't open
Two ways to do this. You can try to jump a good battery to your car so it would have voltage to unlock, connect the ground to any good frame contact or engine block, and the other hot end to the hot wire on the starter, this may involve crawling under the car. Another way is to gain access to the hood latch and try to manually get the latch to open, you might have to remove the grill. If you can't get the latch to unlock this way, you could just remove the bolts holding the latch on to the car, and lift hood latch and all. (watch out for your latch cable, as it would probably still be connected and hood won't raise much, but just enough to unlatch the latch.
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