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Sounds like you need to calibrate the battery, it is supposed to be done every 3 months. If it is not done, your battery will display the same symptoms are you describe. Yes, this holds true for adding a new battery also.
Here is HP's instructions on how to do it. You want to scroll down to the section called "Calibrate the notebook PC battery".
Sounds like you should try a regular Dell factory refurbished battery. Or if not that, try a battery that you knows works for sure. Then try charging it up, if it doesn't charge up then you know its a situation with the motherboard.
When the 1,3, 5 lights are flashing when you press your battery test button, then it means your battery is dead and will not hold a charge. You can still use your PC on A/C power with no issues, but if you want to use it on battery power then you will need to purchase a new battery.
Will the old battery (that you are replacing) charge up at all? If the old battery charges but the new battery will not, then it's likely a bad replacement battery.
To rule out the possibility of a corrupted battery meter inside of windows, you may wish to leave the laptop on battery power only, until it dies. A 5% charge will usually only grant you about 20 minutes of laptop life maximum. Since you left it charging all night, you should get a few hours of life before it dies. If you get a few hours of life, the battery meter software is corrupted.
Most likely though, the replacement battery is bad.
first, check that the battery connection isn't blocked by a sticker or something. second: try disconnecting the battery and ac and hold the power button for 1 minute. then give the battery and ac another try.
let us know how it goes.
if it still doesn't work, time for a warranty replacement.
Sounds Like From Your Description That You Need Your DC Jack Repaired/Replaced..
THe DC Jack Is the Port where Your AC Adapter Plug Plugs into on the laptop.... THis can be proprietary or non proprietary.... But Either way, the Old Faulty Jack Needs To Be Desoldered and Removed, THe Board Cleaned and a New DC Jack Soldered On.. You Will Then Be able To Power On Laptop With AC Charger and Will again Be Able To CHarge The Battery..
bad battery.. RMA that back to where you bought it from. probably wasnt a new battery they sold you. id charge it from completely dead to completely full one more time and if you dont get at least an hour out of the batt then i would return it..