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Hi, The fact that you are getting a load icon when you put a disc in makes me think you have corrupted system files. If you have a spare 2.5 SATA drive you could put it into the PS3 and let it auto-format it, see if that gets the menu back for you. If it does then your current drive probably needs to be reformatted on a PC and then re-inserted into your PS3.
You'll lose your save games (unlesss you can back the drive up on the PC).