It's not clear which of the two styles of stems you have but it's not all that complicated.
Get a grip (pun intended) on how it works:
If you Google "adjust threadless headset" or "adjust quill stem" you will find many video demonstrations on how to adjust it.
For example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsjZx9Kg7ng
http://www.ehow.com/video_4985708_install-quill-stem-bike.html
For solutions on raising the handlebars...
http://www.sheldonbrown.com/handsup.html
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