How do i put it on - 1995 Cadillac DeVille

Sarah, while I like to think I'm pretty observant and smart enough to figure out what most folks are trying to accomplish, I'm torn between giving you advice such as; "just put it on, one leg at a time" Or maybe, "just slip your arms into the sleeves and zip up the jacket."

Of course, I'm certain you're looking for something completely different, so feel free to add a comment to clarify your thinking and we'll get some of the smarter people here to assist you so you can "put it on."

Until later, keep it covered as best you can!

Hi Sarah,

Dreadfully sorry. There was a batch there were shipped without the 'How-To' video. I'll try to walk you through it.

The McDonnell/Douglas AE-151b One Size Fits Most 'Abstainator' Chastity Belt contains all the latest developments in Home Virgin Defense. The facial recognition software is pre-loaded, self updating and no longer depends on line of sight for proximity alerts.

Prior to installation you must pull the yellow plastic tabs off the SaltPeter Injector Pods and insert the Blue battery pack into the blue slot.

If you ordered the downloadable Pulse/Body Temp graphing feature. attach the the micro antenna that came with the CD. Don't plug the receiver into the USB port until told to do so by the installation program.

Now, just step in, pull them up and close the Tungsten Steel Not-A-Chance-O-Matic Electro-Latch. The 'Abstainator' will self adjust to your body type/size for maximum comfort.

Give Daddy the Key and you're all set for......Whatever.

Again, our deepest apologies.

Most of the letters we get are asking 'How to get it off'.
This was a nice change of pace.

Mike

First I'd go on an extreme body building diet so that 5,000 or so pounds feels like a feather to me. After that, who cares? Wear it any way you want!