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As the intermittent wipers are based on resistance, try the easiest fixes first:1. Disconnect the negative terminal on the battery. Pull the relays for the blower motor and both wiper relays and the 30 amp fuse for the wipers. These are located under the hood in the fuse/relay box. The best way is to be careful and use a set of pliers. The reason you pull the blower relay is so that it is easier to pull the intermittent relay. Clean these off the blades of the relay with a burnishing tool (in a pinch you can use your wife's nail polisher that is like very fine sandpaper. Once the are a pretty silver color, wipe them off with some rubbing alcohol. Put them in and pull them out about 5 times into the relay socket and leave them in. Clean the blades for the fuse with a cue tip and rubbing alcohol and then put the fuse in and pull it out about 5 times then leave it in. Hook up the negative terminal and take the key to the on position and turn the wiper to the lowest position. If it works if should take about 36 seconds between strokes. 2. The next easiest is taking the cover off the top of the steering column and pulling off the wiper switch and replacing it. There are three screws that hold the cover and two that hold the switch plus the electrical connector. You can buy a used one at a "junk yard" for about $20. 3. Replace the wiper motor (takes about a couple of hours start to finish). It involves removing the wipers, the cowl (plastic cover over the wiper motor right below the windshield), loosening and lifting the scissor arms for the wiper arms and removing the motor (this involves disconnecting the power connector and feeding it back to the motor).Hopefully your issue is like 95% of the wiper issues and it is just a little bit of corrosion on the wiper relays and fuse!
most likely you have a very bad ignition switch, the only other pathway for switched acc. to operate when key is off is if someone has had the wires feeding the fuse box crossed. so unless you had recent wiring done by an amature, you need and ignition switch. after replaceing you may still need to replace some fuses or bulbs that didn't like being powered at the wrong time.
Fixed the wiper problem which was identical to Brad's by changing out the wiper module which is also called a pulse module or something of that nature. Pretty easy fix. You have to remove the grill that the wiper blades protrudes from in order to get to the motor (4 clips in front which can be removed by hand, remove radio antenna, a center push down retainer, two plastic end caps which pop off and then 1 star type screw on each end under the end caps). Getting the blades off seemed difficult. I used a small puller to pop them off after removing the nuts.
You can't buy this module at a regular parts store. I had to get it from the dealer so be prepared to spend $130 to $140 for the part or go to the salvage yard. Works great now.