Why does my BMW produce a huge cloud of smoke whenever i ignite it

More then likely a blowen seal on head. Take to dealer and have it checked if you catch it befor it go's completely out it shoulden cost as much to fix. But it is going to cost . good luck

sounds as though the injectors are dribbling and have fouled the plugs. get the plugs and injectors cleaned. not a hugely expensive first step.

What color smoke? White, blue? Blue smoke can generally be pinpointed to bad rings as fuel is get past the piston in the combustion chamber. White smoke could be a myriad of things but usually means there's un burnt fuel in the combustion chamber.

Hi Joseph, I'm glad to help!

When engine get a lot of miles on them the seals get hard and bridle and allows oil you slip by and it goes out the exhaust in at cloud of smoke. Here's a way to see if it is you "Valve Seals". When your driving it usually clears up and you have no smoke. Here's what you need to do after driving the car and it has cleared up, pull into a parking lot and let it sit and idle for 3 minutes. If a cloud of smoke comes out of the tailpipe when you take off, then you have bad "Valve Seals" and they will need to be replaced. Hope this helps and have an awesome day Joseph.

No Chance at all, Its oil leaking into turbo from seal, Burned da tubo Eh. To check, remove turbo and start, loud as all hell but no smoke and you have found the problem, If not check piston rings, valves. ie check compression and check vacuum with gauge.

sounds like valve seals

Look for vacuum leaks, late shifting can be a result of lower than normal manifold vacuum, look for dislodged or broken hoses.

My thought is when you find the whistling, you will have the solution...

Doc

sounds like its overheating and i suspect the head gasket has blown dont drive until youve had a pressure test to confirm

The more likely symptom for white smoke from exhaust is piston rings are worn out . Due to this there might be oil leakage and engine oil which is meant for engine lubrication might have entered the combustion chamber. Burning of engine oil produces white smoke. You should quickly change the piston rings as if you ignore this problem this can cause engine mal-functioning