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I would go to the positive terminal on the battery anjd check for black hard build up on the post and inside the terminal. This is lead sulphate and cause a high resistance to any high current flow. Clean both with sand paper until shiny and refit and tension properly. Do the negative also as it will have build up but to a lesser degree. If the battery lead runs through a connection box Check for tight connections there also. As to towing most towers have a wheel rack that fits under the tyres and lifts them clear of the road so it can be taken to to a shop.
If nothing works including the lights, something happened between the battery and the fuse box. There are some fuseable links between the battery and the starter solenoid or between the solenoid and the fuse box. I'd start with the battery cables and look for those fuseable link wires.
the noise you heard in the rear was the electric fuel pump working but it sounds like you have an electrical issue check your wire harness for areas that wires chaffed on metal and cause break in the electric current some known areas are inbetween the radiator and the transmission down towards the tranny pan also check fuse panel might have a loose fuse
old fords never die ,sounds like water pump packed up and as this is driven by the timing belt its stripped the belt and valves hit the pistons ,,,time to retire this lovely car to the motorway in the sky