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Then the clutch is not releasing properly & the continual
grinding will wear the gear teeth & you may also have worn
syncros, that will require you to pull the trans & go thru it, as well
as do a clutch replacement
popping out of gear means your shifting forks need adjustment, same as the grinding. the tranny is probably good, just the top part, the shifting mechanism needs to be repaired, so it would be cheaper to repair than rebuilding the whole transmision.still, im guessing about 300-500$ depending where you live.
Judging from what i know, the timing on the engine is probably a bit off, and i remember reading the exact same problem on another web site and that is also what they said. So just check the timing on the engine or have it checked by a mechanic if you don't know how to do it.
Sounds like a stripped reverse gear. And for the second gear probally need a new gear (1st 2nd) and the syncros with a new hub. If too much metal from the gears has already made it's way around in the bearings through the transmission oil you might be looking at a new transmission. The Golf 3 generation had many problems with reverse gears. Sorry to be the one to tell you.